As a trailing kid, you don’t really know what nationality you are; you adopt the culture and customs of the country around you. The three formative years I spent in America, where my father was stationed with the British Army, has had a profound impact on my life as an adult today; I even enjoy Hershey’s Chocolate, which most Brits can’t stand!
In addition to growing up in a military family, I am a Third Culture Kid (TCK) who has been raised in three different countries (the United Kingdom, Germany, the United States) by parents who come from Ghana.
I was pursuing a career as a civil servant in London, with my new degree in political science, as Barack Obama launched his historic campaign to become America’s first Black president. This American can-do attitude felt so familiar, and it gave me the courage to buy a ticket, cross the Atlantic, and get involved as a volunteer and activist with DC Vote, campaigning for equal representation in the U.S. Congress.
Despite being a foreigner, I had no sense of imposter syndrome; I felt proud to be on the floor at the 2008 Democratic National Convention hearing Obama accept the nomination. Thanks to the emotional resilience I had gained from being a trailing kid, I had become an active participant in shaping history!
Nevertheless, I returned to London and resumed my more risk-averse, traditional career path. It took a few more years for me to realize that I truly crave creativity: the freedom of designing my own path, to share my ideas and thoughts to the world, to learn how they are received. This desire for creativity is what drove me to help start three businesses in the past decade — including a Slack chatbot for on-demand drinks delivery. Start-ups are inherently risky, but embracing your entrepreneurial side can be personally rewarding even if a specific venture doesn’t work out in the long term.
Most recently, I am drawing again on my “trailing kid” experiences to work as a career coach with American expat women transitioning to London lives and careers. Following up on my four tips for developing greater emotional resilience, I would love to share three tips on career resilience for trailing spouses, in the United Kingdom and around the world.
1. Cultivate your creativity
It’s tough having to try and reestablish your career or find employment as a trailing spouse. You need to spend some time assessing your core skills and interests, giving greater consideration to work that offers flexibility. Some people will say that you need to reinvent yourself — but I take a different approach.
You already have many gifts and talents, so it’s not a question of reinvention, but rather of being creative and open-minded. I started my career as personal assistant, then realized that my strong organizational skills were a natural fit for becoming a project manager. Use this opportunity to try new things and see what sparks your interests, matches your skillset, and fits your needs.
2. Building professional networks internationally
It’s great that there are a plethora of professional networks out there for nearly every industry. When you know that you’ll be on the move and you know the destination, look at joining industry and professional networks before you arrive. It may help with getting new employment opportunities or contracts. You may find it helpful to join international freelancing groups to see what may be possible for you.
I make it my business to be on a lot of different mailing lists. I have used them to network and meet people while I was abroad. I wanted to understand if there was potential to internationalize some of my previous start-ups, so I joined Silicon Valley mailing lists. When I was able to travel to San Francisco, I would use the events on the mailing list for networking or to reach out to people and make new business connections.
3. Be kind to yourself
Moving to a new country or far from your friends and family is a huge challenge. Give yourself a break! Take some time to acclimate and get used to your surroundings. Really make sure that you are feeling ready and refreshed before embarking on starting new work, employment or freelancing.
Take more time for yourself — especially during these stressful times of COVID-19! — as advised by the New York Times Article, “8 Ways to Be Kinder to Yourself in 2020.”
I hope this advice has been helpful. I continue to learn, grow and iterate on my personal journey of self development including being coached myself. I look forward to what the future holds for me and my clients.
